我嘗試着接受，拋開所有，但有了裂痕的花瓶終究還是會有瑕疵，而我容不下那眼皮里的沙子似的東西。

I thought you could understand better

It isn't your problems, it's mine.
And I shouted...

And that's candles of 25.

we both lie down and sleep quietly. there's chatting sound coming from behind of the door.

and I turned to my right hand side thought just to have a glance on you.

you're sleeping soundly and dead to the world. that's sweet.

thus, i hold your face and wished you.

Happy Birthday to you.

那只是些瑣事

最近領悟了一些小東西，
如果早上被冷醒，若想起床洗個熱水澡來去去寒，其實那樣做只能降低你自己的禦寒能力，當你踏出廁所門的那一瞬間，寒氣又會覆天蓋地地輕虐你的皮膚，只會覺得更冷。


猶如你沉溺在有伴的環境中，結果又失去了，只會感覺更悵然若失，倍加寂寞。

說過的問題還是重複了又重複，結果還是一樣，
我還能做些什麼。

一直以一些小事，情緒就變的一塌糊塗，
很想再讓自己放開一些一些，太關心，自己變得更糟糕。
這醋罈子還真不是蓋。

情緒糟了，過後又跟自己鬧彆扭，
再最後，自己真的矛盾。

嗯啊，我又能做些啥。


1111光棍節，
自己一個人還真的挺寂寞。

存在的問題 是零零綴綴的散開

在愛失溫前 失望着你不是那個堇賢

還是一樣喜歡凌晨時候，蹲坐在電腦前慢慢讓自己的思緒到處飄，慢慢放空，譜著自己的夜晚。

蜜糖麵包說得對，我不是屬於早晨型的人。儘管我試著盡量早起結果還是一樣，把鬧鐘重複地關了又關然後倒頭繼續呼呼大睡。

最近真的沒什麼好寫的，無不例外的日子一直再重複循環，循環重複。
除了自己大起大落的情緒，再無別的。而且這些東西都早已經說得厭了。

有一點我不得不承認的是，我覺得自從修了繪測這一系真的把我寫作能力，社交能力大大減低。
大部分時間都花在作業上，不是在趕作業就是在睡覺。畫圖，概念，法律，帳目，計算等真的是樣樣皆入，一旦到了有自己的空餘時間，我寧可把時間花在睡眠總好比出門。

而且最近特別容易想起以前的事情，特別是在睡前。

也許這是一個很苦情且用心在愛情中懷著深沉的愛意且感情相當濃密而誠懇地。

遙控器

永遠不要栽培你所愛的男人或女人。

你把他或她栽培得太好，結果只有兩個  他從此看不起你或他給人偷了。 

『親密事件』

是經過前段感情留下的種子。

它一直發芽  成長  茁壯  沿著心牆盤繞而上  像苔蘚一樣 厚厚地留下一層層的陰影

陰影的覆蓋下永遠存在着逃不出的壓迫感

它鬼魅般地侵蝕着你  無聲無息  

這種感覺  讓我措手不及  常常到最後因為自己鬧情緒  搞得不歡而散

親愛的

是我們少於探討我自己的內心  不知該怎麼傾訴

待我們有機會了  感覺卻不在 沒醞釀  霎時間該怎麼掏心掏肺地把自己的世界赤裸裸袒露在你的面前

曾說的安全感  歸屬感  存在感  等

都是我敏感的地帶  容易情緒化  壓抑

或許你有些許的不明白  我自己也說不清

只是我覺的我倆看的觀點都不同  需慢慢琢磨琢磨

也願了你們的話  也許我只是個小孩

其實走過的路也不是白走

論起我們的背景而言  也許你會說我只是不足一言

但總得看內容而言吧

苦頭我也吃得不少

就如上頭的那兩句話

論行頭  感覺若即若離的當然是我  

安全感不是只論你在外頭偷不偷人  而是多方因素的總結

你那兒現在應該海風徐徐

我這兒現在只有重複過濾的低溫空氣。

你呀我呀

我真不曉得為什麼我這人就是多災多難，
這個痛完那個痛，沒完沒了。

已經兩個星期了后腰疼得我呲牙咧嘴，
就連脫褲子彎一下腰都不行，
藥吃了，膏藥貼了樣樣行不通，再過一陣子應該會被人強逼性的送進院。

還有人說我再不去檢查多一遍就要跟我撒了夥，真是夭壽。


















“你爱我吗？”
“已经爱到危险程度了。”
“危险到什么程度？”
“已经无法一个人过日子。”      很貼切的形容 自張小嫻。

你說的。

一路南下，經過山區，接而在大道上奔馳。

大道筆直延伸看不到盡頭。

車裡。

一直凝望側臉，有很好看的輪廓，顴骨分明。

坐車裡的感覺真好，很有旅行的感覺，氣氛很棒，心情很好。

偶爾耍耍痞的樣子，煞是好看。

這次的外出果然很滿足，很春心蕩漾啊...

不曉得我為什麼老是會無意的叫它大笨象，你聽了覺得很好笑，強制性地要我改回來，到頭來結果自己也被我傳染，自已也無意中提到大笨象。

一炮閃光，天空被炸得天花亂墜。
印在臉上的煙火，多麼的清晰，明亮。

西落高速公路

希望你懂

其實我心裡很害怕，怕那樣的幸福很快灰飛煙滅，像片刻的曇花，西下的夕陽，燦爛卻那麼的短暫。

我知道那還遙遠，只是當我發白日夢的時候，難免會感傷一會兒究竟自己該怎麼辦。

我離不開，不奢望更多，我只希望讓現在的所有凝固。我滿足于當下，憧憬著未來。

我捨不得放開  更捨不得離開。

那回眸時不經意的微笑，

看得我恍了神，

深深地烙在心裡，像灌了蜜，盤扎成了根。

誰還能像你那樣待我，

我只知道我更醉于你給的愛。

beans of red

hey ya!
Finally everything back to the track again. Had my rotten holiday for past two weeks, finally step into my third year of architecture studies. I know there's long way ahead, but at least, for now this final year seems to be a milestone for my future expectation.

Started to step into urbanism in this field. Everyday talks about urban design, urban planing bla bla bla... sort of boring sometimes. At first I thought it would be a boring field, but somehow I found it could be interesting in some other way, maybe it was a bigger picture or scale that comparing what I had done previously designing a specify building, but now, it was designing a city.

Fortunate enough, chosen site was urban area that surrounding titiwangsa recreation park area. Providing great kl scene, breathetaking environment. Still waiting for the inspiration, have to ohmm more in the site.

In the other hand, was also getting sick of site visiting. Hate waking up early in the morning to go to the site, the headache traffic jam on Tun Razak Road, low aura with the working mates... Come on guys, bring me the synergy! Past me the good aura, not the bad one, together we can bring the synergy...!

Been up to the rooftop of wisma Bernama to get aerial shot of our site. Everyone was so excited, this was the first time for us to get up to a high rise building's rooftop.

Therefore a group photo is a must : )
Hope we can make it happens.

I'm just to bored of counting the traffic : )

One of the little funny incident happened on the day we're counting the traffic. while we're counting the night traffic, due to the front lights of the heavy traffic, we felt dizzy and my friend ran down from the car to vomit. LOL. I laugh non-stop at the moment, it was so silly of us :P

Hari Raya break is just around the corner. Hoping to get some time on vacation with my dear.

Found lots of so called "missing bean" on our site. It brings the meaning of missing, you know?
相思豆，愿君多采撷，此物最相思。

剝離

花瓣兒剝離的頃刻間，倒敘着曾經的瞬間，

一刻一刻，即模糊又那麼的清晰，

恥笑着也許吾把它當成應該。




花瓣兒落下的頃刻間，述敘着當下的片刻，

一刻一刻，即蝕心又那麼的酸澀，

恥笑着吾說過的每一句荒語。



花瓣兒著地的頃刻間，插敘着明日的時刻，

一刻一刻，即悔恨又那麼的落寞，

恥笑著吾所做過的一切言行。




他像個剝離母親子宮的胚胎，
即無助又那麼的無奈，淚流滿面。

and the new day ahead!

Hey peeps...! here this blog revive again after the owner has been disappear for months :D

After months and months of sleepless and torturing day, finally I had completed my second year of academic hooray! Till today I'm still wondering how I got through my last suffering week... You couldn't imagine how it could made your body non-stop shaking continuously for the entire day but you still have to keep drawing till the last minutes before the assessment starts. I was totally depress and so wanna to go home missing everyone and just let it go. But finally, phew...

But that's it. It's time to forget about all those architectural stuffs for temporary two weeks holiday! Although I'm super lazy to pack and tidy up all the documents...

Fortunately, my birthday was falled on the day after assessment. Thank god. Been through a small and warmful birthday celebration. Thanks for everyone.
And God blessed luckily I did not crash on anyone's car on my birthday eve celebration a.k.a my assessment day... I was totally awake for that two days and rush like a mad for my assessment, so on that night I keep falling asleep when I was driving toward the celebration place...

Of course got drunk after that celebration because of esther tan. How desperately I wish you could appear and bring me home...

And million thanks for spending on my birthday.

On that actual birthday, passed my last minute of birthday with someone else who falled in deep sleep on my bed. Haha. Although I was hoping something well-planed but I know you're that busy, so just forget about it and move forward kay? It's still a great time spending dinner with you :)

After my birthday celebration was a trip to Kuala Selangor to have a peep on fireflies organized by college clubs.

It was my second time to visit those fireflies and no doubt, it still looks like LED lightbulb which hung on trees...

Everyone was thought those fireflies were flying around but in real, they are just static on trees and from far it looks like a christmas trees.

"ili was sitting next to me when all the fireflies blink below the starry sky, and we were both saying how nice it would be if we were here with our special someone. i guess its during moment like this that you wish you have that special someone to share this moment with. hmm..  " from melissa's blog.

Just to mention here melissa... I have the same thought too! but unfortunately, there was just bear sitting next to me... ewww.

some random shots.

this species of monkey doesn't look like monkey but indeed they're still monkey.

the whole trip is just a normal enjoyable trip but we made it something different as always. 

3 of the monkey ran into a so called  beach which the sea was far away from where we stood without thinking. Once we stepped in, regret dah... It was a muddy beach and we got cuts and wounds from broken glass bottle and shells on the beach...

Laugh my ass out. It was totally a new experience :D

It was one of the trip during this holiday, and right now I'm enjoying doing nothing at home to get a full rest of myself. I can really feel that I'm so weak after all these fight...

I want to watch movie I want to go hunt for my new watch I want to stick with someone else I want to sleep as much as I can I want to eat and sleep non-stop everyday!!!